Falling out of love
by Waiting for my Soulmate
Summary: will-kate, i really don't like jocelyn. read and review please! i've changed the format, please tell me if this is more acceptable


Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, and I'm not making any money from this, so please don't sue (. I just didn't like the ending..... (Spoilers)  
  
At the World Championships, just after William has won.....  
  
The crowd went wild, shouting William's name and showering the group in flowers, but this was all lost on William, who had a mind for only one thing, his Jocelyn. He ran to her, even as she vaulted over the fence and ran on to the field, grabbing each other, hugging and whispering words of congratulations and thanks. They were all breathless with excitement jumping around all over the stadium, except Kate who, as a woman, and a widow, was expected to behave with some sense of propriety. Even she was beaming though, laughing at Wat and Geoff, who were shouting in to the crowd.  
  
*this is the start of something new, something amazing* he thought to himself as he held Jocelyn in his arms and heard his name boomed out across London as the World Champion. Then he was rudely jolted back to the real world as Jocelyn was abruptly pulled out of his arms and Will found himself face to face with a tall, imposing looking man. He knew at once that this must be Jocelyn's father, and he was not relishing the thought of their first meeting.  
  
"William Thatcher?' he enquired, in a sneering voice.  
  
*Ah, well, best get it over with* "Yes, I am William Thatcher, Your Grace"  
  
"I understand that you want to marry my daughter" he said  
  
"Your Grace, I love your daughter, and she would honour me with her hand if we had your permission and blessing", William said, as respectfully as he could, given the strong emotions still coursing through him from the win.  
  
"My permission and blessing will not be forthcoming. My daughter is betrothed to the Count Ademar of Anjou, a fine match. She has no right to promise herself to you, I have pledged that she should marry Ademar, and I will not break my word. He is an excellent man and has many connections. There is nothing that you can offer me that will induce me to break my contract with him. I will not tolerate you to visit my house, nor will I allow you to see my daughter again. I trust that I have made myself sufficiently clear, if I have not my servants will help to clarify the matter. Good day."  
  
With that he turned and left William, staring. He started to follow, to protest, anything, but he was held from behind by Geoff and Wat. As they stopped him, Will was suddenly aware of the five impassive men standing in front of him. He strained to catch a glimpse of Jocelyn as he was dragged backwards through the crowd by Wat, but soon lost sight of her in the bustling crowds.  
  
Will had no heart for celebrations that night, but he had to attend in order to receive his prize from Prince Edward. As Champion it was expected that he should begin the dancing, so another lesson with Kate was in order, to brush up his skills. He found the blacksmith at her forge, working on an intricate piece of jewellery, so he waited until she had cooled it in a bucket of water so as not to disturb her.  
  
"Kate, have you finished? I was hoping you might give me another lesson, I'm supposed to start the dancing tonight and I'd hate to look stupid in front of the Prince."  
  
She turned at the sound of her name and gave Will a brilliant smile, "Of course, now?"  
  
"Well, if you're not busy" he said, indicating the piece of jewellery lying on the work bench.  
  
"Oh, this? It's a piece for Geoff, he thinks we should have a badge or talisman, to mark us as your entourage. I said I would make him a sample, you don't mind, do you?" Kate was clearing an area of the shed as she spoke, moving aside the mess caused by all four of them using the place for various different activities.  
  
"Oh, you're staying with me?" he asked, surprised, "I thought you'd want to go home, start up your businesses again"  
  
Kate smiled at him, "This is my home now, I've been travelling since my husband died, but I've never stayed with a group I love as much as you...all. I like to travel with you all, and I hope you like to have me around too."  
  
Will was quick to reassure her that they were happy to have her along with them, and that they couldn't really do without her, although he asked her not to repeat that last part. Then they got started with the dance lesson, weaving in and out, Will tripping occasionally as he got a step wrong, but they soon moved well together. Kate called in Wat and Geoff to make up a set so that Will could practice properly and then it was time to get ready. As Will left, Geoff stayed to talk to Kate, examining the jewellery she had made for him.  
  
"This is wonderful work, I'd love to wear one. How are you Kate? We haven't had much of a chance to talk since we came to England"  
  
Geoff was always trying to fix the problems in the lives of his friends, the only people who had cared enough about him to take him in and keep him, despite the money he had cost them in the beginning. Most people would have left him to the mercy of the summoner, but these people had helped him and so he would repay them in anyway he could. He was always especially careful with Kate, who was more fragile than she looked and much more affected by her husband's death than she liked to admit.  
  
"I'm fine thank you Geoff, everything's going well" said Kate, but Geoff caught a hint of avoidance in her voice.  
  
"Now come on Kate, you can't keep secrets from me, you'll feel better if you tell someone, and I promise to keep your secrets safe" he said, with a smile behind his words. Kate sighed, and weighed up the chances of Geoff going away and leaving her alone.  
  
"Alright, fine. When they put William in the stocks I realised I might have more than just friendly feelings towards him, are you happy now?" and with that Kate left the shed and went to her room at the inn, closing the door behind her.  
  
At the banquet that evening William looked for Jocelyn, but he could not see her. He supposed that Ademar had deliberately kept her away in order to keep him from passing a message, but in truth Will was relieved. He could not bear to see her on the arm of another man. Had she been there he would not have been able to concentrate on anything else. At the end of the meal the Black Prince stood to make his speech, ending with the presentation of William's prize as World Champion. As he stood to receive the cup there was thunderous applause which swept him up to the table and made him feel euphoric. For the first time it really hit him that he had achieved his dream, become a knight and proven himself to the world. The thought took him higher and higher as he turned to face the crowds of people gathered at the banquet, lifting his trophy to show the world.  
  
His heart stopped as he saw Jocelyn enter at the back of the hall.  
  
A dead silence seemed to fall over the whole assemblage, even as he saw the people still screaming. A sharp poke in the ribs recalled him to his duty and he headed first to his table to put down his trophy, and then to the dance floor, to fulfil his ceremonial role. As he reached the floor he suddenly realised that he had expected Jocelyn to join him in this victory dance, but now he had no one to dance with but himself. A second prod made Will look down to see Kate at his side, ready to begin the dance they had practiced earlier. Will felt a surge of gratitude, and at the same time a distant amazement that Kate could look so beautiful in a gown. He would not have known her, out of the rough cloth she usually wore and in a dress which was elegant and stylish, but not ostentatious. He remembered she had her reputation to uphold as a young widow, so the flashy revealing dresses favoured by Jocelyn would have been inappropriate. They began their dance, moving from side to side, twirling around in front of the hoards of spectators. Soon the dance was over and Will returned to his seat, intending to spend as little time as possible watching the other dancers. But before he could leave he was forced to endure the sight of Jocelyn, his Jocelyn, on the arm of another man, his hated rival Ademar. They were dancing in a set, and Jocelyn did not look happy. She looked as though she had been forced to accompany her future husband; she probably had been coerced in some way. As he looked at her will thought he saw her wink slightly at him but he must have been dreaming. Soon Will and his entourage left amid more cheering, but none of the group felt particularly cheerful. The mood of their leader was infecting them all.  
  
There was only a few weeks before the next tournament, so the band packed up their belongings and prepared to leave the next morning. In the middle of the night, however, Will was woken by an insistent tapping on his door. He was alert at once, the years on the road having trained his reflexes to respond to any potential threat, his small dagger in his hand. He opened the door cautiously intending to ambush whoever came in, but he stopped himself just in time as he realised it was Jocelyn, his Jocelyn, coming in to the room. Will dropped his dagger and crushed her to him, dimly recognising that she had brought her maid Christiana with her.  
  
"What are you doing here?!" he cried, all the while hugging her tightly, as if to reassure himself that she was really there.  
  
"I swore to you that I loved you and that I would go anywhere for you, and now I have come to fulfil my promise" she whispered to him. Jocelyn turned around and gave swift instructions to her maid in French, then closed the door, and no further words were needed between them.  
  
The next morning Will woke early, having been immersed in dreams, only to turn over and see the object of his dreams lying next to him. Together they went down to breakfast, holding hands and prepared to face an onslaught of questions. But Christiana had been busy, and everyone greeted Jocelyn cheerfully, but with no sign of surprise. They ate breakfast together then packed up the last of their belongings and left the inn before seven o'clock. Jocelyn had brought her own horse and so she and Will rode while the others walked. Christiana also had a horse, laden with baskets full of Jocelyn's clothes and linen but other than that all they had was a small pony to pull the wagon, but it was too small for any of them to ride without their feet touching the ground. Will made the decision not to stop until they were well away from London, so that it would be difficult for Jocelyn's father to find her. The men were no trouble but Kate was having problems walking that far in one day. She began to flag at one, when she realised that they would not be stopping for lunch. Geoff moved back from his place beside the wagon to talk to the blacksmith, and perhaps to keep her going.  
  
"Chin up Kate, it can't be that bad" he said, trying to cheer her up.  
  
"I'm tired, that's all. Really, Geoff, there's nothing the matter" she replied, trying to smile despite her tiredness.  
  
"Well perhaps you can ride for a while, would you like me to ask Will?"  
  
"No Geoff, thank you but I can manage, I'm just not as used to walking as all of you men.", she smiled, making a joke of her perceived weakness.  
  
But Chaucer ignored her protests and went to the front of the train to speak to Will, explaining that Kate needed to rest, or to ride, something to give her a break from the constant march. Will, looking back at Kate, decided they could afford to stop for a little while, to allow them all to get their breath back before going on. Jocelyn, however, was not happy; she thought that stopping would put her in danger from her father's scouts. She said as much to Will but he reassured her that they would stay well ahead of the men her father and fiancé undoubtedly had searching for her. Jocelyn still wasn't satisfied but she submitted and sat down under a tree, scowling all the while. But after almost half an hours rest Kate was not feeling any better, and they had to move on, so Wat suggested that Kate ride one of the horses. This was hailed as an excellent plan, but then they realised that the only horse fit for Kate to ride was Jocelyn's, so the group nominated Will to ask for permission. He drew her aside for some privacy  
  
"Jocelyn, my love, would you be willing to walk a little way and allow Kate to ride your horse? It'll only be for a little way and she's not well." At that moment he realised he was begging for what should be a common kindness. He began to think that Jocelyn should have offered to lend Kate her horse; they should not have to ask. But to his increasing amazement, Jocelyn looked away from him and he could see her reluctance in her face, even as he heard it in her voice and words. She was not accustomed to walking, could Kate not have ridden in the wagon? The excuses tripped off Jocelyn's tongue but Will scarcely heard them.  
  
"Fine, she can ride mine. Do not worry your pretty head about her, she is only one of my most trusted friends" he cut her off sharply. Turning, before Jocelyn could even close her mouth, Will went to see Geoff, to tell him to get Kate on to his horse while the others packed up the wagon and made ready. Kate got up in to the saddle, sitting awkwardly because of her dress. It would have been easier to ride side-saddle but it was clearly not possible. As a last resort Geoff used William's knife to cut a slit in Kate's gown  
  
"It can be sewn up when we stop" he said. The others finished loading the wagon and the group set off again, intending to reach a town or village with an inn before nightfall. Geoff walked beside Kate's horse, talking to her, but he noticed that Will and Jocelyn did not ride together as they had in the morning. This continued as they reached the outskirts of a town and went to stay at the local inn. Will and Jocelyn shared a room, as did Roland, Wat and Chaucer, with Kate and Christiana in the final room. They ate dinner in a local tavern, and the atmosphere was strained around the table. They chatted about the upcoming tournament, the town, anything but the day's ride. William wasn't talking at all. He ate little of the food and merely nodded when spoken to, he was deep in thought.  
  
*Why am I so upset? Is it because Jocelyn was being selfish? Or is it because she was being selfish to Kate? Should I forgive her without saying anything? Should I tell her that we all work together, and that if she is going to be in my life then she needs to adjust? Is that too harsh?*  
  
As he was thinking, Will looked down at the table and was suddenly transfixed by something beneath the table. He was looking at Kate's leg, revealed by her slashed dress. As he realised what he was doing Will's head shot up, startling his companions. Unobtrusively, Kate twitched her skirt so that it covered her legs, her face burning with embarrassment. Will forced himself to talk and act more normally, and the others, breathing a sigh of relief, followed his lead.  
  
That night Will determined to talk to Jocelyn about how she should conduct herself with his friends, but she went to bed before he came up to their room, so he did not wake her. Her behaviour did not improve as they went on, travelling hard and only stopping occasionally, to avoid being caught by Ademar's soldiers. She continued to behave as if she was in her father's train, commanding the people in the various inns they stopped at as if they were her personal servants. As a result the whole group was treated with contempt; they were all tainted by Jocelyn's bad manners and arrogance. Finally, Will decided he must speak with her and chose an afternoon when the others were all out, in order that she should not be embarrassed.  
  
"Jocelyn, I must speak with you', he said, 'you said that you would live with me, even if I lived in a hovel with pigs, yet you don't seem happy here with me, though we are far from that state. I know you were born a Lady and that you are used to better things, but all I can offer you is my love."  
  
"Will, you are Sir William now, you could stop travelling, buy a manor house and live as a knight of the realm should. That would be better than this existence, always moving around and living in these...places", she replied.  
  
"This is the life I enjoy, I will not become a landlord while I continue to live like this, my tenants should not bear the cost of my life choices. No, Jocelyn, this is my life and I would dearly love to have you in it, if you love me as you claim to."  
  
"I do love you Will, but I do not think I can continue to live like this. The dirt, the constant travelling, I find even your companions to be uncouth and disrespectful."  
  
But she had finally gone too far, insulting William's best friends and faithful companions.  
  
"You chose to come to me, it was your choice, I did not encourage you to put us all in danger. You were willing enough once to endure these hardships in order to be with me. My friends have gone out of their way to make you feel welcome, for your sake as well as for mine, they want to like you, but you are not making it easy. Jocelyn, I love you, but you cannot love me, as you will not make even minor adjustments to your life. You must choose your life as a rich daughter or your life as my love. I cannot provide both."  
  
Affronted, Jocelyn snapped, "As you wish, William. I will leave, go back to my father. It will take only a few hours to pack my boxes and be gone." With that she turned and left him, heading back to the inn. Will was shocked but he found himself oddly relieved that Jocelyn had suggested the course, rather than him having to suggest that she leave. He went back to the inn, finding Jocelyn and Christiana already hard at work packing up the boxes of fine clothes. As Will walked past the room Christiana came out and gently touched his arm, mutely asking for an audience. He nodded, inviting her to speak,  
  
"Sir William, I ask this for my own peace of mind, my lady has not asked it of me, but I must know, is there any possibility of you forgetting this quarrel?"  
  
"No, she has rejected my life and my friends, for all her promises, and I cannot forget her selfish nature, no matter my other feelings for her. I am afraid that it is time to part, but I shall be sorry to see you both go, I was getting used to having you about the place, and I know Kate was enjoying the female company", he joked, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
"Well,' she said haltingly, 'that is the other part of what I needed to ask you, sir. Would you consider allowing me to remain in your train?"  
  
"I have no objections, but wouldn't you rather stay with your mistress? She is going back to the kind of life you have been used to, the like of which I cannot offer you with my band. We will always be in the road, no fit life for a woman." Even as he said this he thought, *but Kate is a woman, and she bears it well. She really is extraordinary*. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, and forced himself to focus on what Christiana was saying.  
  
"It is only that Roland has asked me to be his wife, and I would like your permission to remain before I make my decision."  
  
"Of course! Nothing would please me more than to see Roland settled, and I know he loves you dearly. Do you love him in return, this is the question. If you do not, I beg you, go back with Jocelyn. It would destroy him to be trapped, loving a woman who does not love him back. If you love him, then by all means, stay and be welcomed in to our family." Will smiled at the prospect of Roland as a henpecked husband.  
  
"Indeed, Sir William, I do love him, and with your permission I will go to him now and tell him the good news, then I shall inform my lady of my new plans." Even this prospect could not damped the prospective bride's enthusiasm and she went in search of her husband-to-be with a light heart, which is more than Will felt as he left her and continued up to his own room. He suddenly realised that Jocelyn would be there, and without realising it he had turned away from his room and headed out to the shed, when Kate had a fire and was working on more of the intricate metal clasps for Chaucer. He made a noise as he entered the room, so as not to scare Kate as she worked. He sat and watched her work the metal in to elaborate spirals, and attach a loop to the back, which would be used to fasten the badges to their cloaks. Will counted the ones she had already made and decided now would be a good time to break the news of Jocelyn's decision. He took a deep breath,  
  
"Kate, you've made too many of those. Jocelyn won't be needing one, she isn't staying." he said quickly, trying to get the news out quickly.  
  
"What?! Why not? What have you done?" Kate asked quickly  
  
"I?? I have done nothing! It was her; she was unwilling to make an effort to fit in to my life, although I loved her it was not enough. Why is this my fault?" he replied, stung by her confidence that he, Will, was the cause of the problems.  
  
"Why do you not make more of an effort to understand her?! She has given up a lot to be with you, her money, her family, all to come to you! You must be sensitive, and remember the sacrifices she has already made! God William, why did you not talk to her, make an effort to make her stay?"  
  
"Because I did not want her to!" Will stopped, suddenly struck by what he had just said. He did not want to have to persuade Jocelyn to stay; she should want to stay, for the sake of their love. He saw Kate about to say more, but he forestalled her by turning and leaving the shed.  
  
He walked out of the town, in to the surrounding countryside, deep in his own thoughts. Why hadn't he fought harder for Jocelyn? Unbidden, the answer arrived in his head; because he didn't love her. He may have loved her once, but now his love had faded, helped by her selfish behaviour. No, he must fight for their love; he would go back and talk to her, make her see that it would be worth the sacrifices she had made. With that resolution he turned back towards the town and began to walk quickly on his way to his Jocelyn. When he entered the inn, he found Christiana and Roland in the kitchen, sitting at the table.  
  
"Where is Jocelyn? I must speak with her!"  
  
"You're too late Will' said Roland, 'she left just after you did. She's gone"  
  
"We must leave at once, pack up our things and move on, get to the tournament grounds. She is sure to be there with her father, and it is important that I speak to her."  
  
"Alright, I'll tell the others, but we can't leave before the morning"  
  
Will knew that he would have to be content with that, and promptly decided to go to his room and prepare for the mornings ride.  
  
They rode hard all the next day, and the next, and reached the tournament grounds in plenty of time. The first night was spent in celebrating Roland and Christiana's wedding, but the second night after their arrival, all knights were expected to dine together in preparation for the tournament. Ademar was there of course, but he now had Jocelyn with him, his acknowledged fiancé. Will steeled himself to watch them, hoping for a chance to speak to her, but instead Ademar was the one he spoke to first.  
  
"I hope you are happy to have your scouts back" said Will, referring to the men Ademar had sent out after Jocelyn.  
  
"And what scouts would those be? I have sent no scouts, I had no need to. I knew that she would come back to her father, and would therefore come back to me. I can offer her so much more. She would never have stayed with you, and your pathetic band of stragglers, she is made for better things. You have lost, and it is a battle you had no chance of winning."  
  
"In that case, you will not mind if I speak with her a moment, alone" challenged Will.  
  
"No indeed I do not mind. By all means, speak with her", replied Ademar, with a smirk. He signalled to one of his servants to bring Jocelyn over to him, then he left Will and Jocelyn to their little chat. She sat down opposite Will and looked at him, waiting for him to speak.  
  
"Jocelyn, please, I believe I made a mistake in letting you go so quickly, do not marry Ademar out of misplaced spite against me."  
  
"Sir William, I must stop you before you say something which might embarrass me or yourself. I am betrothed to Count Ademar, and I am fortunate to be marrying such a fine man. I could not adjust myself to any other kind of life, and I have no desire to do so. I must ask you not to see me alone again, it might arouse the suspicion of my family." said Jocelyn, in a politely distant voice. She then stood up and moved away, curtseying to Ademar and sitting at her father's right hand, leaving Will staring after her, open mouthed. He got up and quickly left the banqueting hall, leaning against the wall outside. He had spent about ten minutes in quiet contemplation when he was jolted from his thoughts by a tap on his shoulder. Kate stood beside him, a goblet of wine in her hand, ready to offer support and a willing ear. She was wearing a gown again, and Will was stuck again by how it suited her, and suddenly felt in no mood to discuss Jocelyn, particularly after their conversation. Will had thought that he should stay with Jocelyn, fight for her even, because of the sacrifices she had made in coming to be with him, but now he saw that his 'efforts' to win Jocelyn back had been no more than the duty he thought he owed to her. This much was now clear in his own mind, but he felt no need to express it to anyone else. His love for Jocelyn had faded; he watched her go to Ademar with no sense of regret or wounded pride. Then he looked down at Kate, and asked himself if he could let her go. The answer was simple; no, he could not have got through the last year without Kate's help and guidance, even though she never forced her opinions on the group, they all felt her presence. He may have allowed one love to fade but, he admitted to no one save himself, this new love would never be allowed to die. 


End file.
